Warning, there is a longish, most likely vague and confusing rant ahead.
Ugh, so I was at a visitation/funeral for my great-uncle's wife yesterday, and had been texting a very good friend of mine during the time between the visitation and the actual funeral. Not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, but several members of my mom's family have problems with being nosy, prying, and manipulative in general.. My Uncle asked who I was texting, and I told him it was one of my friends. Jokingly, I added that it was my wife. (Long story, but if you have me on FB you can see.) Big mistake. My Aunt Shanna blurted out "SO you have a GIRLFRIEND?" The room went silent, and I turned red. I denied it, saying it was just a joke, but the more I said no, the more they decided that I was lying. Next thing I know, I'm playing 20 q. "What's she look like?" I said she was of Middle Eastern descent, next question, "Is she Indian?" No, she's raised right here in London. "Can she make Chai tea?" I have no idea. "Is she a Muslim?" Yes, Sunni. My uncle actually had me text her to see if she could make Chai tea, not to be stereotypical or anything. Thank God she's used to the bigots around here and had a perfectly witty answer, "Yes, if he wants. I can also make pizza bagels!" This went on for nearly five minutes, until I finally offered to call her and confirm that there was nothing going on at all. She picked up, I explained the situation, and put her on speaker. My Aunt Shanna took the phone and began talking to her. Here's how the conversation went:
"Hi, so you're Aayat, right?"
"And you're married to my nephew?"
"Now, I have a question-"
"Yeah, how can you be married to him, and not be his girlfriend?"
-Everyone is grinning at this point-
"I... I honestly have no idea."
"Oh, really? So, tell me."
"If he asked you out, would you date him?"
(Everyone in the room)"YESSS!"
Here's where it gets totally mixed up. We flirt like that ALL the time. But in my family's ears, that means it's confirmed. I hung up the phone, and gave possibly the biggest death glare of all time to everyone in the room. I spent the rest of the night being lectured by my aunt on how important it was to "not screw this up." She also friend requested Aayat, who accepted. They talked the whole hour after the funeral during the extended visitation. Thanks for believing in me, family. Your confidence in my ability to find someone on my own time is really empowering. Here is a copy of the facebook message she sent me later that night:
"Don't screw this up; she really likes you! Confidence is everything, so don't let your fearful pride get in the way of her knowing how you really feel. She's just as scared as you are, but your crazy aunt was able to skip over that hurdle for you. Whatever you do, don't put that hurdle in your way again!
-I didn't want to go to a funeral for someone I barely knew in the first place
-My family can't mind their own beeswax
-Aayat won't text me back or answer my calls
-One of my best friendships has been screwed up by "helpful" famliy
-My own family thinks I'm as desperate as everybody else thinks I am.
-I had to sit through ANOTHER "Fifteen-is-too-young-to-have-your-first-kiss" lecture.
-I'm pezzed beyond pezzed.
Bah. I wasn't really pursuing a relationship with her in the first place, but if I was I'd appreciate it if they'd just let it happen naturally. I can handle it myself. I'm shy, yes, but not an idiot! I suppose I'm open to giving a relationship a shot, but I'd rather it happen naturally and not be set up by my fam.