If I had a million dollars
I'd buy you a house
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)
If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich
(Slightly modified for length
)
Pay off my credit card ($236!), buy a lighter-weight laptop, fix up the house for the parental units, buy anything in the world for my grandparents, and spend the rest on travel. I'd finally be able to afford to volunteer in some really exotic locations. (I'd rather spend money to go and volunteer in needy countries than to just donate cash, cuz you never know where it'll end up.)
